|This culinary masterpiece will soon be missing from European dinner tables|
Thursday 17 November 2016
Sources close to top EU bureaucrats reported on Wednesday that there is mounting horror on the continent that ordinary, honest, hard-working European families will soon have to survive without the famously epicurian gastronomy of the British Isles.
Italian finance minister, Carlo Calenda, went head to head with Bozo Jojo, tousle-haired British foreign secretary, yesterday. Their meeting centred around some boring but crucial issue pertaining to leaving EU, which the vast majority of voters Rightly ignored during the EU referendum.
Bozo Jojo quickly took the upper hand in the confrontation. When Calenda threatened turning off the tap to Jojo's private source of Italian sparkling wine, Jojo retorted that if he did that the UK would cease all exports of their highly prized food stuffs to the continent, leaving the Italian finance minister thunderstruck and unable to respond.
The United Kingdom has long been envied for its nutritious delicacies, and there are deepening fears on the continent that without the UK in the single market, the remaining 27 EU members may have to subsist on inferior French and Italian cuisine.